grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
