the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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