i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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