They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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