my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I AM VODKA MAN
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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