either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
