walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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