I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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