also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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