what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
