don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize