There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
