I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize