There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
