So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
