They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
