Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
