used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
