I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
