I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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