Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
