I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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