He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
