He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
