There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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