We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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