he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
