can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
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you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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