I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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