i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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