You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
