That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Text me some of your sweat
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
