I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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