She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
