I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
