There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
