I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
