the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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