listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize