I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
