she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
