Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
