You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize