How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
