Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
