Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
