I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
birth control should be required to get into college
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
