Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
