so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
