Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
