dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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