Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
