I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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