I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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