Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize