it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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