we made out on top of his cat.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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