when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I don't think brook has ever known best
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
