please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
