Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I smell stomach acid.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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