Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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