i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My dick has a subreddit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
