No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
