I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
